Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Finding the Way Home - Release Day Thoughts

It's Release Day!!

Even a year later the idea of releasing a book is still thrilling to me.  So much has changed since March 24, 2015.  I now have a website, business cards, a stronger grasp of the reality of self-publishing, and a healthy realization that even though everyone I've spoken to "loves" my books, that doesn't mean I will ever be universally adored.

You know what, though?  I am okay with that.

I don't really want to be universally adored.  People who require constant affirmation of their greatness rarely grow.  They are stuck in their own self-perpetuating cycle of doubt and vanity.

I, on the other hand, know that I have flaws.  I love them,  I celebrate them.  They are what makes me...ME!  They are what allow me to hand over a story I have crafted and say, "Here ya, go.  I hope you love it.  But if you don't, I hope you can tell me why you didn't."

This story was hard for me to write because the writing of it came during a tumultuous time for me.  My father-in-law (whom the book is dedicated to) became ill while I was writing it, so there was a lot of heartache over that.  Also - and this completely slipped my mind until now - I managed to spectacularly injure myself playing Kickball with a bunch of Cub Scouts (I am a Cub Scout Den Leader).  I tore my Achilles Tendon and spent 6 weeks laid up, not being able to do much of anything.

So, between worry, depression, and gut-wrenching sadness, I managed to craft a story of hope and transformation.  And then, during the editing phase a storm set in.

A stomach flu passed through our community, hitting three out of the four members of our household.  My husband was hit the hardest and seemed to be having a hard time bouncing back.  I finally encouraged him to go to the doctor, only to get a call from him later that day saying he was being taken by ambulance to the hospital.  The virus has attacked his heart, weakening it.

While we were awaiting the test results to determine how badly his heart was damaged, we got some more bad news.  His father's health was failing fast and he was being placed on life support.  Within days he would be taken off of life support and hours later...he was gone.

All of this told, I find myself appreciating this Release Day so much more.  It's because I can celebrate my life and passion with my family, friends and readers.  You guys make days like this so much better.  And I am reminded that acknowledging the kindness in the world is so much better dwelling on the haters.


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